Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
