I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
