had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
