Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
