No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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