Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
