She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
