I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
