you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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