i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
