Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
