Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
