OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
