god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
