she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
