1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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