Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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