I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
