i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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