a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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