Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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