Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's shark week go big or go home
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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