Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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