Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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