were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
