Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
