Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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