I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
