But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
