we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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