On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
