just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
