Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
