But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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