Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish you could order shots online.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
