What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
