just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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