Pappa wants mamma naked
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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