i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
