i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
