Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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