I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
