he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
