sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
