I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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