i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
