sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
