we have pet lesbian snakes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She bit a glass in half.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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