This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
