I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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