if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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