Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
