Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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